


Painting war.

by kroosista



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 10:31:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4431851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kroosista/pseuds/kroosista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing he expected when they told him in May that they were playing in August against Bayern… In Munich, was that the players were going to give them this kind of welcome. Booing from the fans? You could set that in stone. Maybe some jokes for him personally? Sure. But not this. He didn’t know what was going to happen now…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Painting war.

**Author's Note:**

> At the Audi Cup between Bayern and Real Madrid in an alternative world where Iker and Basti are still with the teams.

\----------- *** ------------

If Toni would’ve known what was behind the doors at Säbener Strasse on his return home – even if it was just to play two games with Real – he would’ve stayed home. For real. He knew his former teammates – especially, Bastian – loved to set up pranks all over the place but he thought that, since this was the visitant side of the training fields, they would stay away and leave everyone alone for once… oh, how wrong was he!

As soon as Sergio – the captain selected by Benitez for the Audi Cup games – opened the doors, they were engulfed in a cloud of dusty colors. Pink, blue, red, yellow… you name it. Everyone from the team and several members of the staff were coughing their lungs out and Toni knew he should’ve expected it. _Damn it, Bastian!_

“What the hell is all this?!” Sergio was the first one to recover from the dusty thing attack and he wasn’t happy.

Everyone turned to look at Toni and he backed up a little.

“Well, Kroos?” Pepe was intimidating when he was angry – even covered in paint all over his face.

“Bayern is known for making pranks on every player that step into Säbener Strasse. This is one of those” Toni managed to say between coughs and bad-mouthing Spanish. James came to his side and put a hand on his shoulder.

Toni looked at him and his eyes were clear enough to transmit the message James wanted to transmit _you okay?_ Toni nodded slightly and James wrapped an arm over the German’s shoulders.

“So this was their welcome. Damn it with Germans!” said Sergio and both Toni and James cleared their throats “No offense, Toni”

He wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. If only he could. The last thing he expected when they told him in May that they were playing in August against Bayern… In Munich, was that the players were going to give them this kind of welcome. Booing from the fans? You could set that in stone. Maybe some jokes for him personally? Sure. But not this. He didn’t know what was going to happen now…

“I don’t care about anything right now, guys. I want revenge!” said both Casemiro and Danilo while wiping their faces with their shirts.

“If we were in Madrid, we could plan something really awful. But I don’t know what to do here in Germany” confessed Sergio making the rest of the team – except Toni and James – groan.

“But you do have a plan…” Isco inquired looking at the second captain.

“Yes… I always have a plan for pranks. But I don’t speak German, Francisco”

“But Toni and Dani do…” everyone – and it was literally everyone – in the room stared at both Toni and Carvajal with smiles on their faces.

“Uh…” Toni didn’t know exactly what to say…

“You’re part of this team now, Kroos. You have to help us!” _Have?_ Isco was good at pushing people to make them do stuff for him. Toni knew that. Still, he wasn’t sure he wanted to do anything against the other team.

James, however, growled a little at his side. “Shut up, Isco. Toni doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to…”

“James…”

“No, he doesn’t have to. Period. Don’t pressure him to do anything.”

“You’re so boring, Ras Tas Tas… Besides, if we don’t have Toni, how are we supposed to get anything here in Germany if we don’t speak German?”

James was about to answer when one of the screens on the hallway came to live and showed the faces of several of the Bayern players.

Thomas Müller, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Manuel Neuer were up front smiling and waving. “Hello there, Blancos! Well, not so white anymore if you’re seeing this. We hope you enjoyed our little surprise there and be sure there’s more to come. And we wanted to say this, of course… Welcome to Säbener Strasse! We hope you enjoy your stay here and well… enjoy the rest of the way to your rooms and to the training grounds later today. By the way, Toni, welcome back. Sorry you got involved into this mess but, well… you’re one of them now! So we actually aren’t sorry. Hope you and your little Colombian have a colorful evening, literally. We’ll see you all at the training grounds later today. Bye!”

When Bastian finished, everyone around him laughed hysterically for a few seconds before the screen showed the “Mia San Mia” banner.

Toni could feel his face getting hotter by the second and he was sure that he was beet red. He was going to strangle Bastian. That was for sure.

“You know what, Sergio? You don’t need me to get supplies for your prank. Anyone that speaks English could do that for you. Gareth, Cris, Alvaro, Luka, Karim… as long as they speak English, you’re okay here. You’ll need me, however, to learn your way here.”

Everyone smiled and James looked at Toni as if he suddenly got a set of antlers. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure. They can mess up with me but not with you or with my team. So, revenge. We’ll have our revenge.”

“That’s what I’m talking about, Germany!” Isco gave him a high-five while Dani explained to the guys what they had to do on the streets and Sergio started plotting the revenge.

“You need to wash all this blue and red of your hair or it won’t be blonde anymore…” James joked with a smile.

“Maybe I’ll dye it black… I’m the only blonde here. I stand out like a sore thumb…”

“Don’t you dare!” Toni laughed when James pushed him slightly.

“Come on, let’s go!” Toni stopped him before they could go to the rooms.

Isco, who was walking alongside them, stopped too with an annoying groan. “Now what?”

“I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure they planned something for us here too. I know them. I’m sure they will mess up with us even more” James, with a shrug, opened the door for one of the rooms. Benitez said he and Toni would have to share a room, while Isco was with Dani on the room across the hall.

“What do you think Iker will say when he hears about what happened?” Isco asked with a smile on his face while they waited for James to open the door completely and step inside.

“He’s going to kill us. As Phillip is going to kill Basti.”

“What the hell is this?” As soon as everyone stepped inside, they realized that it wasn’t over.

All over the room, the colors from Bayern Munich could be seen literally everywhere. The room was painted in blue and red stripes and the bed was covered in a Bayern sheet with the banner printed basically everywhere.

On the TV screen they could read **_“Willkommen zu Hause, Toni. Wir hoffen, Sie genieβen Ihren Aufenthalt hier. Und sagen hallo zu James, bitte!”_**

“What in the world does that mean?” Isco, saw the message flashing on the screen and turned to Toni for an explanation.

“They knew we were coming to this room specifically. I don’t know what they planned but I don’t like it.” Toni then grabbed his phone and called.

“Who are you calling?”

“Felix”

“Okay, while you do that, I’m going to go check my room. See ya” Isco leaves them alone and James watches Toni while he’s on the phone.

“Hallo, brother, are you in Munich now?”

“Yes, I’m here. That’s why I’m calling, actually.”

“What? You missed me so much?” Toni snorted at Felix’s response while his brother laughed.

“I did, but that’s not relevant or new anymore.” Felix laughed again “Anyway, do you know if Mom and Dad kept the apartment here in Munich?”

“The one they got to watch your games?” Toni mumbled an affirmative response “I think they did. Let me ask them. If they did, you still have the key, right?”

“That’s why I’m asking. I’m thinking of staying there while we are in Munich if Mom and Dad are okay with it.”

“What did Basti and Mülli do?” Toni shook his head “And don’t tell me it’s nothing because I know you, sweet brother of mine.”

“They’re just being idiots, more than usual, of course. Nothing to worry about. Felix, please call mom or dad and ask them, please?”

“I will. Call you as soon as I know, okay. Take care, and say hi to James, by the way” Toni swore in German and Felix laughed before hanging up the phone.

“You’re going to go away from the team, then…” James said slowly, in English, and Toni met his eyes.

“No, We are going to stay in an apartment a block away… if my parents kept it, of course” James smiled again and Toni shook his head “Come on, coffee bean, stand up”

“Why?”

“You look weird surrounded by red and blue…”

“Thank goodness I didn’t join Barcelona then, huh” Toni smiled and led the way joining Isco on the hallway.

“Sorry, I can’t stand to look at all those crazy colors in the room. Don’t like it.”

They went to join Sergio and the rest of the team on the training grounds. Toni had never been scared to walk the hallways of Säbener Strasse, but he was now. If he knew Bastian and Thomas as much as he thought he did, those weren’t the only pranks they planned.

James and Isco were talking about how higher they could jump before hitting the ball in the air and Toni was looking everywhere, trying to see if there was something hidden anywhere.

“Germany, you’re a little obsessed. Calm down, man” Isco passed his arm around Toni’s shoulders and smiled “You ex-teammates are bananas, but not that much…”

“You don’t know them as much as I do…”

“What’s the worst they can do?” James asked and Toni shuddered at the memory.

“They put a snake in my pillow once. And a spider on Mario Götze’s because they know we hate them”

“Dude! You’re kidding…?” Toni shook his head and Isco whistled “That’s serious business”

They went to the field and Sergio was smiling from ear to ear. James looked at Toni and lifted an eyebrow. Actually no one was sure what was going on with Ramos but no one dared to ask him. Training was more important and they all went on with their exercises without saying anything. Until Benitez came to Toni and Luka’s side.

“Guys, you do know your hair has different splashes of color in it, right?” Toni and Luka swore and Benitez shook his head. “I hope you guys don’t get in trouble here…”

Grabbing the first water bottle he could find, he went to James’ side and called his attention. “Could you help me get the colors out of my hair? The mister asked Luka and me what was going on.” James grabbed the water and tried to wash Toni’s hair as best as he could. When he was done, Toni looked around. “Where’s Iker?”

“He’s on a meeting with Lahm and the presidents. Thank goodness he is, by the way”

“Why?” James didn’t get why it was so important that Iker stayed away from training but judging from Sergio’s face, it was nothing good.

“Did you guys know we’re going to share the training ground with Bayern?” Toni looked at Sergio and he smiled even more “Yup, they’re going to be here any moment now.” He looked around and saw Marcos Llorente and Martin Ødegaard practicing some control “Martin! Marcos! It’s time!”

“Do we really have to, Sergio?” Marcos whined while Martin nodded and Sergio sent them away with a gesture.

They sighed and went straight to Benitez. “Mister! Iker said you should be on the meeting before it ended!” Martin said with emotion and Benitez looked at them.

“What are you talking about, Ødegaard?”

“Iker said to be there before 3:00 and we forgot to tell you. Please don’t be mad at us. Please. We just forgot” Marcos said and Benitez grabbed his shoulder.

If Toni didn’t know that Sergio sent them to do that, he would have believed their words. They looked so remorseful that Toni wanted to comfort them somehow.

“It’s okay. It’s 2:59 now. I’ll go and see what Iker wants and come back later, okay.” The boys nodded and he turned to Cristiano and Sergio “You two are in charge of training. Keep it under control, okay!” Both Sergio and Cris nodded and Benitez rushed out of the field and out of their sight.

Martin and Marcos returned to Sergio’s side. “Amazing job, little ones!”

“We hate you, Sergio. That was awful”

“Yeah, I don’t like to lie!” Martin completed Marcos’ sentence and Sergio just smiled.

“It will be worth it! I promise. Now, everyone go get ready!”

Everyone was in motion after that… everyone except Toni, James and Isco. “Toni, you know your way here, right?” He nodded “Well, keep James safe then.”

“Wait, what? What are you planning, Sergio?” Sergio showed them his plan and Toni was shocked

“Are you crazy?!”

“A little bit. But Germany, you have to help us.”

“Okay, what do we have to do?”

 

\----------- *** ------------

 

A little after, there was only James and Toni there while the first Bayern players came rushing out of the tunnel. The first one, Götze, looked at Toni and smiled.

“Kroos! Long time not see…” he hugged Toni with a smile and James looked at them from the side. “I missed your jokes here. No one is funny like you were, bro!”

“Hi, Mario. Missed you too, man. How’s Munich treating you?”

“Like shit, but you knew that already…” Mario then looked at James and smiled even more “James, hi. Sorry for my manners. I’m so glad I finally got to meet you!”

“Same. Toni always talks about you”

“Good things, I hope” Toni laughed “Why are you two the only ones here?”

“I guess you’re going to find out real soon”

“What’s that on your hair, Toni?” Mario tried to shake something out of Toni’s hair but failed “Why there are colors in your hair?!”

“Blame Basti, Manu and Mülli, Mario”

“Damn it! Phillip is going to be so mad!” James looked at him “They didn’t mess up with your boy here, right?” Toni lifted an eyebrow “Okay, he’s going to kill them for sure! He told them many times to stay away”

James looked around and tried not to focus on any of the guys hidden “You know what, Mario? You seem like a really nice guy and you’re Toni’s friend so… can I give you an advice?” Mario nodded “Go back to the locker room”

“What? Why?”

“Just trust me on this one… okay?” Mario looked at him with an eyebrow raised and shrugged his shoulders.

“But be quiet, okay?” Götze nodded at Toni’s words.

“Damn! I forgot my running shoes! Be right back, okay? Don’t miss me too much, Kroos”

“Dream on, Götze!” Mario winked and ran back to the tunnel just as Bastian and company walked to the training ground.

“Thanks.” James looked at him “For sending Mario back. He’s a nice kid and one of my best friends here.”

“I like him. As long as he doesn’t touch your hair like that anymore” Toni smiled just as Thomas spotted him.

“Look guys! Toni found some Colombian coffee in Madrid!”

“Hello to you too, Müller!” James grumbled under his breath.

“Remember what Fips said, Mülli, we must not joke with Jamesito here…” Manu came and messed with both Toni and James’ hair. “Besides, we always thought Toni liked beer, and he LOVES coffee. We must be wrong about everything!”

“Oh, Toni, look. You have some blue on your hair” Thiago laughed and Toni scowled.

“Whatever. We are going to go now…”

“Why are you guys here all by yourselves?” Basti asked while looking at them. “Where’s your team? Hiding in fear?”

“Hello, Basti… haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“Nope, dear Toni. Not at all!” he then focused his eyes on James “Where’s the blue paint on the Colombian boy? Did you protect him, Toni?”

“I have a name, you know?” Bastian looked at him and smiled “And I can speak for myself, thank you very much.”

“We’re leaving now”

“Oh, Toni, wait. We just wanted to welcome you back. We missed you!”

“Yeah, right. Bye Basti”

“So, that’s how Madrid deals with situations, huh? They go on different directions”

“No, we actually set a bait and then kill”

All Bayern players turned at Cristiano’s words and Toni grabbed James’ hand and ran towards the tunnel just as Sergio opened the water hose and the sprinklers and Dani, Isco and Danilo ran on one side and Pepe, Keylor, Marcelo and Casemiro on the other with paintball guns and aimed.

“You wouldn’t dare…”

“Believe me, Neuer, we will!”

And the battle began while Toni, James and Mario looked from the tunnel and laughed at the rest of the guys. The battle between Madrid and Bayern just took a new level with paint, soap and water flying all over the place.

“Thanks for keeping me out of that mess, Rodriguez”

“No problem, Götze.”

“Mario… I’m Mario to all my friends” James smiled and shook Mario’s hand. “I like him, Toni”

“I like him too, Mario.” James couldn’t help but smile even more. He liked to meet Toni’s friends and Mario seemed like a nice guy.

“Time to join them, you think” Mario was looking at the rest of the guys with interest.

“I guess. At least the paintball guns are out of paint” James surprised all of them by running to the field and grabbing a water hose and spraying everyone (Madrid and Bayern) that came across him.

Toni and Mario went too and participated in the battle. For them it was fun instead of revenge. But all that fun turned to dust as soon as they heard…

_“¡¿Pero que cojones es esto, tíos?!”_

All of them stopped as soon as Iker’s voice rang across the field. With him, Phillip, Pep and Rafa Benitez looked at the mess they were part of.

“What the hell is this?” Pep’s voice was commanding enough that the Bayern players looked at each other.“I asked a question, guys!”

“I was wondering the exact same thing, Pep” Benitez said and looked at Sergio “Ramos? Would you care to explain?”

“Why me?” Sergio put his most innocent face on

“Maybe Schweinsteiger can point something on that explanation”

“What? Me? Pep I…”

“You two don’t fool anyone, you know? So, both of you, to the office, now!” Pep pointed to the tunnel and Bastian went.

“I don’t know where the office is…”

“I’m sure Bastian can clue you on that one. Go, Ramos” Sergio left the water hose aside and went behind Bastian. Pep then looked at Benitez “After you”

“Thank you” Benitez looked at Iker and Lahm. “You two are in charge. Make sure they stay out of trouble, please”

Both Iker and Phillip nodded and they went after Sergio and Basti. The rest of the players looked at each other with mixed expressions until Müller spoke.

“Peace? Sorry about the pranks, guys. Really. We just wanted to joke a little”

“No problem, really. But don’t do it again. We know where to get ammunition now” Marce said while everyone laugh.

Iker then cleared his throat. “How lovely, but I hope you guys understand that both Rafa and Pep aren’t happy about all this”

“Come on, Iker, it was a joke”

“Yeah, Marce? It was really funny wasn’t it?” Marcelo nodded “Well, you should enjoy running for 45 minutes too” everyone groaned “You earned it! Starting now”

“And if you guys think you’re safe, you’re delusional. An hour of running, go ahead.” Phillip said with a smile on his face.

“An hour?! But Fips…”

“Not a word, Neuer! Go… just now”

Toni looked at James and smiled.

Mario came running to their side. “Race to the corner?” James looked at him “Toni can’t run that far real fast so…”

“You’re going down, Götze”

“Bring it on, Kroos”

James smiled and whispered on Toni’s ear “I don’t care about that, I still like you very much” And then he went running with Mario leaving Toni with a goofy smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was a prompt send by an anonymous source to my Tumblr account (http://kroos8shipper.tumblr.com) which I gladly took and wrote.
> 
> Anon wanted a pranking war between several of the guys and well, I modify it a little and added the Bayern guys as well. Anon wanted Iker as a dad... well, there you go. And Fips is there too. I still hope you like it!  
> Let me know if I should keep writing stuff like this and any prompt you want me to try writing, leave it on my tumblr account!  
> See ya soon!


End file.
